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SOPHOMORE year
For starters, let me apologize in advance for my last post. I don't know what came over me, but I will have all of you know that after that day I went back to my pessimistic self. So I guess I should give recap of my week.
Nothing special for almost the entire week except for a few things, my brother left for college, I got annoyed(oboy what a surprise) and I had a life changing self journey that last 4 hours. So my brother left for college, and the least I can say about that is this: fucking finally. Me and my brother don't admittedly have the best relationship, that being that we hardly talk to eachother and when we do it's not the friendliest of collisions. All he does is complain about everything and acts like a victim when at the same time, he spouts out some nonsense about him hating people who act like victims and people who complain. Which is extremely hypocritical coming from him if you can't already assume that. Secondly, he has absolutely no respect for anyone other than himself. Not to mention he can't keep his mouth shut, going back to the respect thing he will yell at you if you ask him to go do something. He will also turn a debate into a shouting match if you disagree with anything he says. He also doesn't know not when talk or say something inappropriate. For example, if my dad asks him to something he will yell and call him stupid, which has lead to some moments when I actually thought he would get kicked out of the house- but I don't have to worry about that because he is finally gone. (And I didn't even get into the fact that he is a vegan, gay, spiritualist). I got annoyed, like I said, what a surprise. So I assume anyone who is reading this remembers Ryan from my very first post well, while on my life changing journey that lasted 4 hours I got stoped by him and today, was bring your own cup for a slurpie day at 7/11. He asked me to come and I said no, he said okay and went with his friend Max instead, I have some things to say about Max, but that is for another day. Anyway, when I got back from my life changing journey guess who fucking rang my doorbell, Max, and Ryan. I ran and opened the door and was greeted by both of them, they asked if I wanted to go longboarding, I said this, "no, i'm tired." Hoping they would just go away, but they asked me about 4 times while at the door and I said "no i'm tired" each time. They looked pretty disappointed and tried to play that mopey bullshit hoping I would take pity on them, but I didn't because I have no sympathy for these people. I really hope that now they got the hint, because earlier in the week they walked home with me. I say it like that because I had my headphones in, and they walked next to me, and apparently they didn't get the hint that I don't like them then and I don't think they will get it now. Oh well, at least it gives me something to vent about. Now the moment you have all been waiting for! My life changing journey that lasted 4 hours! Yes, this was amazing. Now what was it you ask? Well no, it wasn't shrooms or something weird like that, it was a reallllyyy long walk. Why you ask? I don't really know exactly "why" I did it but for the most part I am happy that I did, I myself haven't been just outside in nature in probably like 2 weeks. So this was good for me it was relaxing and it really just made me appreciate things a bit more. I don't really know if I can explain why it was life changing, it was just simply the fact that - I am trying to change myself this year and going on a 4 hour nonstop walk with little to no water was not really something I ever planned on doing, and so I did it and I am proud of myself. /end
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Yea, so I don't really know if I will do this weekly, probably daily actually because it's a nice venting space, for me personally, and from what I learned in health today, it's healthy to vent.
Yes, health one of the classes - so far I am really happy I took, we are learning mostly about metal health, if you even want to call this unit that. Basically we are learning about why failing is important and the healthy stages of learning. Today we listened to a lecture by our teacher about failing and trying again and how failing is good. Probably now, if any of you have heard an inspirational speech before the warning bells of cliche are lighting up in your head but listen, its a cliche because it fucking true We as people - especially growing up always want to fit in, we can constantly say that we are different and try not to be, "with the mainstream" but the one goal for any kid in high school is to fit in - like it or not. And, that is perfectly fine, but from what I learned today that when you stop- just stop caring what people think about you whether it be your high school crush - the popular kids, or even your friends, your problems, the massive stress that is on your back just goes away. It's a long process, and the first few steps to being yourself are always the hardest, but I promise anyone who is reading - it's worth it. The only thing that matters is what you think of yourself, so love yourself, respect yourself and don't be afraid to laugh at the mistakes you make - your first step - and tumble was a mistake, but look at you now walking on two legs. (Sorry for sounding like an inspirational facebook quote up there, I promise I will try to be less of a cliche) So my day was really good, after adopting that philosophy that I learned in health I was happy, and less cynical than I have ever been, I talked to the people I wanted, I even sat a lunch table with completely random people and had a really long conversation with them. My only complaint - lunch was and still is too short. So I regret not talking about what I did freshman year, because looking back I could have at least laughed at some of the stupid shit I was worried about. So this year I decided that I will try to post on a blog weekly, because me being a procrastinating asshole, knows that I can't do this shit every day.
The first week of school is always the same, unless you move schools like I did last year- but that isn't what this is about. I did what I normally do on the first day of school, stay out of the limelight and maybe talk to some of my friends, if I could ever find them. After trading schedules over the summer I thought I had a pretty good lineup for classes and friends, but boy was I wrong. The only classes that I have friends are Health, and Math, the rest of the people in those other classes are either acquaintances, people I don't know, and people who I hate. So this year is already shaping up pretty well. At least I didn't get any classes with Ryan (I'm using a fake name for the sake of anyone ever finding this). Ryan, the one person last year who I hung out with, outside of school, I thought I could form a decent friendship with what seemed like a normal person. Wrong, after school ended I cut, basically most of my friends out of my life and just had some time to breath for about a month or two, and then Ryan starts texting me like crazy. He thinks that I hate him now or something because "I've been ignoring him," Mind you, he did send me like 1 text within the span of that month and so after he sent me that storm of texts; I hung out with him. But then he constantly wanted to hang out and, he knew where I lived so he would go up to the door and ring the doorbell, and with my parents constantly thinking i'm lonely- and depressed, I would have to hang out with him. There are some more things about Ryan too, he is overly sarcastic, and - there is a limit especially for me. He is constantly complaining, about everything, and he is a needy little bitch. He consistently is joking about every- last- thing, which is just annoying as fuck when I myself am kind of a serious person. It really doesn't help that he complains about everything- whether it be to hot or too cold or i'm not talking to him enough. Now don't even get me started on his neediness. So the night before the first day of school Ryan wants to play GTA V with me, a really fun game, especially online. I said, and I quote, "I don't want to tonight." We played it for the past month every night and it was getting boring. He then starts to flood me with texts begging me to come on saying "You're not a man if you don't come on," and stupid shit like that. I ignored him and turned off notifications on my phone and woke up the next day with about 12 unread texts, most of them just begging me to play with him. He still thinks I am one of his good friends though, I don't really know how to break it to him because we don't see each other at all throughout the day, but if the time comes, I guess. I could go on with how annoying Ryan is, and how completely opposite he was revealed to be, to my personality but I wont, I know if some people are reading, and they may not see why I don't like Ryan - I maybe have not explained it well enough but to sum it up, he just annoys me, every- single- thing- about- him-, from his voice, to his interests, to his appearance, and to his personality. I just can't stand the kid. So, back to the first week, my schedule is actually decent this year, no college-level account class to worry about (long story). So I guess I will get into what I think of each class. Period 1 - Health Ahhhh... Health, the one class I took to BS my PE credits. Honestly, though, it's probably going to be a great class, I have one of my best friends from last year in it, Amelia, she is a goth girl who doesn't give a shit about anything, and I can appreciate that in a person. We had science last year together and I really formed a close friendship with her. The teacher is pretty nice but I get the feeling that she got the short end on the stick with health, she doesn't really seem like she wanted to be there but- oh well. She talks a lot but so far doesn't get that much engagement from the students. Period 2 - English II So probably one of my most well rounded classes this year, I don't hate anyone in it all, well I don't really know anyone in it at all but that doesn't matter. Right now I am sitting with a friend from last year this really smart kid named Zack, he is a bit on the chubby side but at least I have someone to talk about star wars lore with. The teacher is pretty great so far- she seems a bit on the crazy side but that's a good thing, definitely far left on the PC spectrum. On the first day of class she asked this, "How many of you girls consider yourself a feminist." I don't really take any mind to it but I don't think that's something very appropriate to talk about on the first day - in and English class. Other than that though she seems really cool. Period 3 - Spanish II I BARLEY passed Spanish I last year, luckily I was a total teachers pet, and she passed me so I wasn't that one sophomore in a class of freshman, thank god. But, I think karma came to bite me in the ass because I got one of the hardest Spanish teachers in the school, she only speaks in Spanish and we have to ask permission in Spanish to talk in English, so that'll be a blast. I know a couple people in that class but, there is a surprising amount of Freshman, I didn't know that you could take Spanish I in middle school but- I guess I was never really the over achiever. Period 5 - World History Fucking fuck- I am going to hate the shit out of this class. I am going to rant on and on about this class for the following reasons, I do not know a SINGLE person in the entire class, I haven't even seen there faces before, the class is full of idiots, and its in a trailer. I talked about earlier how on the first day it seems like I never get in a class with my friends - ever. Well I am usually right, this is different, I don't know a single face in the entire class, at least I know who the people vaguely are in most of my classes but I don't know anyone. The class is full of the - um less than intelligent people usually I get put in the average classes but this is weird, we all know there is that one class that they put all the stupid people in, even though the name of the class is the same as the average course it exists, yea well I got put in that one class. Lastly but certainly the worst thing about this class is, it's in a trailer, now my highschool has a trailer outside because they needed two extra classrooms. Yes, I said two extra classrooms that means that my "classroom" size is half of a trailer. That's not even the worst of it, it gets really hot in there because the school doesn't bother to fix the AC, and I can't imagine during the winter how cold it will get, and the noise, oh my god, the noise. I never realized how loud such a small space could get but it gets so loud I can't even think, usually I can just tune it out but this is as loud as a school cafeteria times 100. Period 6 - Biology Honors Now, I am just as surprised as the next guy as to why I got honors, my science teacher last year wouldn't let me take normal Biology, so here I am in an Honors bio class. It's not all bad the people in it aren't that stupid, and I know a good chunk of the people in there, i'm not friends or even acquaintances with them but they know who I am, and I know who they are so that's good at least. As for the teacher, she is I think actually crazy, a risk taker or something like that it seems like, while going over our syllabus she listed all the cuss words we couldn't say out loud. +10 points respect, she is also the sponsor for the LGBT+ alliance club which is pretty cool. Period 7 - Geometry This class is the best, one of the only classes where I have a group of friends I can talk to, the teacher is super laid back but also retains control of the class which is really nice. I don't have anything bad to say about this class at all, the teacher, and the people are all awesome. Not to mention is a really small class with only about 12 people total in it. Period 8 - Drawing and Painting Something about this class just makes me feel uncomfortable, maybes its me being one of the only 3 sophomores in the entire class or the fact that I get weird looks from the people across the room, or maybe its that fact that the art teacher has a really soft voice and always sounds condescending but, I think it's that I am just not comfortable in the class at all. Its weird I always feel so cozy in an art class, the one place where I really open up to people but this class just seems so draw back, and boring to say the least. She had us start off with some boring ass project where we combine 6 symbols that represent us into one piece, maybe it's just not my forte or something like that. Overall, my first week back was uneventful, that's why this is mostly backstory and don't worry most of my posts will hopefully not be giant word walls. |
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October 2016
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